If Aeon's Played Blitzball
by x-keelan-X
Summary: What happens when Shiva, Ifrit, Valefor and Ixion collide with a sandwich? Find out what happens to the sandwich... and the aeon's lives... as they play blitzball. (1st Chapter of 2) Please R&R! Good or Bad, They still inspire me to get the next chapter u


If Aeons Played Blitzball

Written By: x-keelan-x

captain_jack1379@hotmail.com

If you would like a slightly more dramatic story, please read another one of my Final Fantasy stories, Life's Little Problems. I need more reviews, so I can continue! Thanks.

**DISCLAIMER** I don't own anything related to Final Fantasy 10, so don't sue me. Please? Oh, and I don't own any part of Final Fantasy 8 or the Grand Theft Auto 3 world, though I wouldn't mind a Banshee. And I claim no part of Martha Stewart either…

Ixion – Finally, a story about me!

x-keelan-x – Ixion… we've been through this. Its not JUST about you, its about you AND your friends.

Ixion – Damn.

x-keelan-x - -_-

x-keelan-x – Alright everyone, lets get started!

IF AEONS PLAYED BLITZBALL 

Ifrit – I'm bored.

Shiva – I'm hungry.

Valefor – I need to be loved.

Ifrit – Ah, shut up *smacks Valefor*

Valefor – *Whimpers*

Shiva – Well, we need to do SOMETHING to curb our boredom… and hunger. Hey, x-keelan-x, can you write a sandwich into the story?

x-keelan-x - *sighs*

A nice big juicy sandwich is sitting on a table next to Shiva.

Shiva – Gee thanks! *chomps down the sandwich*

Ifrit – Well, now you're satisfied… but what about me?

Ixion – Yeah we're both bored.

Valefor – I NEED TO BE LOVED!!!!!!

Ifrit – I've had enough of this. Hellfire!

Valefor is burned to a crisp.

Shiva – Oh my god! You killed Valefor!

Ixion- You bastard!

Ifrit – I need Cheesy Poofs… HEY! You're making this sound like a cheap cartoon!

x-keelan-x – Sure, Ifrit. *rolls eyes*

Ixion – How about we take up a sport, like… chess?

Ifrit - *roars* HOW IS CHESS A SPORT??? If we're going to do a sport, I suggest we all play blitzball.

The Man – Blitzball? This doesn't look like Liberty City. And where's my Banshee?

Shiva – Hey! Get your own game!

The Man – Sorry. *takes Uzi and leaves*

Valefor – Well, that was interesting!

Ifrit – I thought you were dead!!!

x-keelan-x – He's an aeon, he can't die. You really think I'd kill of my own characters?

Ifrit – ……………………

Ifrit suddenly dies.

x-keelan-x – Just kidding!

Ifrit comes back to life.

  
Ifrit – GRRRRRRRR!

x-keelan-x – I thought I told you, aeons can't die!

Ifrit – Whatever.

Shiva – Guys, stop arguing! Lets just go play blitzball.

Valefor and Ixion – YAY!!!!!!

Ifrit – Best freaking suggestion I've heard all day…

The aeons arrive at the stadium, and try to sign up at the registration desk. Instead of the normal woman, they find a scary blue thing that bears a striking resemblance to the shoopuf driver.

Valefor – Hi, we'd like to sign up for the blitzball tournament.

Thing – No, eets imposhibibble! Imposhibibble!

Shiva – Please?

Thing – IMPOSHIBIBBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ifrit loses his temper and casts Hellfire.

Ixion – Look what you did! You destroyed the registration desk!!!! And I think I broke a hoof… *whimpers*

Ifrit – Whatever.

Shiva – Lets just crash a locker room, pretend we are who we aren't, and go out and win the tournament!

Selphie – That's an excellent idea!

Shiva – Who the hell are you?

Selphie – Why, I'm the gorgeous Selphie, star of Final Fantasy 8!

Ifrit – HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL THESE PEOPLE TO GET THEIR OWN GAMES!!!!!!

Selphie screams and runs away.

Ifrit – Whatever.

The aeons enter the Aurochs locker room, only to find Lulu and Wakka engaging in a very… personal… activity.

Ifrit – WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN OUR LOCKER ROOM?!?!?!?!?!

Wakka - *Wipes sweat off face* Your locker room? This is our locker room, ya? This can't be happening…

Ifrit – Yes it can! *Casts Hellfire*

Valefor – AAAAAAAH! You burned down the locker room! Why the hell do you keep casting Hellfire??? And how the hell do you build your overdrive so fast?!?!?!

Ifrit – Whatever.

Ixion – Hey, guys, I kicked the Al Bhed Psyches out of their locker room! Its ours!

Shiva – Perfect, lets roll!

Ixion – I just thought of something you guys… we don't have enough players to field a team!

Valefor – We need another aeon… but who?

All except Ifrit – YOJIMBO!!!

Ifrit – Whatever.

The group approaches Yojimbo, but get a horrible surprise…

Shiva – Martha Stewart??? What are you doing here?

Martha – The stadium hired me to use my exquisite fashion sense and decorative style to help them make it a bit more appealing to the eye! *eyes Ifrit* Wow! You sure look like you have a fiery personality! Could use a change of clothes though…. Phew! You stink!

Ifrit – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

x-keelan-x – Ifrit, calm down!

Ifrit – Why did you have to put her in the story???

x-keelan-x – Because you need to meet new people.

Ifrit – Whatever. *casts Hellfire*

Shiva – Ifrit!!!

Ifrit – Look on the bright side, I've rid the world of a terrible nuisance.

Valefor – But… I loved Martha Stewart…. *faints*

Ifrit – Whatever.

The aeons finally managed to make their way to Yojimbo.

Shiva – Yojimbo… will you pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease please please please please pretty please?

Yojimbo – I'm confused… what am I supposed to please… it will probably cost you. Hee hee hee I'm closer to gillionare status every day.

Ifrit – She wants you to join our damn blitzball team!

Yojimbo – It will cost you.

Ixion – How much?

Yojimbo – 200,000 gil

Valefor – 200,000 gil!!!!!! That's enough to put my kids through college!

Ifrit – You don't have kids, you stupid idiot!

Valefor – Oh yeah, right.

Shiva – Well… we really need a goalie… I guess 200,000 will work… but for ONE game! That's all.

Yojimbo – Hee hee, no problem at all, Shiva. Whoah! You're breath is icy cool!

Shiva - *blushes*

Ifrit – Whatever.

x-keelan-x – Well, they are FINALLY ready to get down to serious business and play some blitzball. But, unfortunately, that's all the time I have for today… the author has chores to do…

Valefor – Nooooooooo! You can't abandon me now! I still need to be loved…

x-keelan-x – I'm sure someone will take care of you.

Valefor - *Sniffs*

The Man – I still haven't found my Banshee…


End file.
